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Romance is an essential aspect of a strong, flourishing relationship, and who doesn’t want their relationship to flourish? But of course, not everyone is a natural romantic. If you’re looking for how to be more romantic, it’s a skill that can be learned just like any other. In fact, you might even be more romantic than you thought!
If you are looking to bring romance back to a long-term relationship, stop to consider the things you did early on in the relationship for your significant other. Did you leave sweet little notes or send flirty texts? Did you hold hands every chance you got? Did you make sure they knew how incredibly attractive you found them, even if that meant saying it multiple times a day? Voila, that’s all a part of being romantic in a relationship!
If you are at the beginning stages of a new relationship or hoping to catch someone’s eye and enter into a relationship with them, you might also be better at this whole romance thing than you realize! What are the things you could do to make them smile a little wider, that put a little extra bounce in their step? This is romance, baby, and you’re going to have no problem learning how to be more romantic!
There are many ways to be more romantic in a relationship, but this guide will share some of the top ways you can increase the romance for you and yours.
Table of Contents
How to Be More Romantic
Learn Each Other’s Love Languages
Are you familiar with the love language concept? Essentially, it states that we all have ways that we give and receive love best, and by learning both our partner’s and our own love languages, we can better know how to connect and show love.
For example, if your partner has Words of Affirmation as their love language and yours is Acts of Service, then the romantic gestures that you are showing your love with might not be landing the way they should. Learning to “speak” and love each other the way we need it most is one of the most beautifully romantic things we can do for each other!
Often it is the spontaneous romantic gestures that really have a dramatic effect, especially if you’re feeling like the romance has been waning for a long while. This doesn’t have to be a massive romantic gesture like booking flights for one of the most romantic hotels in the world, but maybe it’s booking a spa date to surprise your partner with.
The most important element here when it comes to being spontaneous is knowing who your partner is. Maybe don’t plan a couples skydiving experience if she is afraid of heights, and don’t plan a wine tasting weekend if you know your boyfriend hates wine. You know your person best, plan the perfect romantic surprise for them based on what you know they will love!
Never Stop Getting to Know Each Other
One of the things that can sometimes happen in long term relationships is that we feel like we know everything there is to know about the other and we stop asking questions. This can actually be very unhealthy because we then end up feeling like we’ve become boring to each other, and no one wants to feel boring in their relationship! Make it a point to keep the lines of communication open, and play games that involve self disclosure together, like Would You Rather flirty style games.
Plan Date Nights
This is an easy one, but an important way to be more romantic in relationships that can sometimes be overlooked! If this isn’t your strong suit, then be sure to check out all the great date ideas posts out there, like Rainy Day Date Ideas, Outdoor Date Ideas, Fall Date Ideas, Christmas Date Ideas, New Year’s Eve Date Ideas, Car Date Ideas, and so much more!
Make a Couple’s Bucket List
Is there anything more romantic in a relationship than to have exciting goals that you two share and can look forward to together? This is one of those sweet activities that is extra romantic because as you two build your couple’s bucket list, you’re strengthening the understanding that you two are committed to each other and your future. It’s also a great way to get a deeper understanding of each other and what your hopes and dreams are in life.
Spice Up Your Affection
Of course, sometimes romance needs a little extra spice! If you’re looking at ways to be more romantic in your relationship, consider infusing a little extra heat by increasing the physical affection by doing more hand holding, hugging, kissing, and any other physical affection you can think of! Spicing up your relationship is also about stimulating your partner mentally in new ways, and you can find some great ideas for how to spice up your relationship here.
Another great way to be more romantic is to send sweet text messages or leave romantic messages for them to find. There are a ton of great ideas for sweet goodnight messages for him, goodnight messages for her, good morning messages for him, good morning messages for her, even romantic Christmas messages!
Being more romantic isn’t just about the grand gestures, it’s really about the little day-to-day thoughtful things that you do for each other, like filling up your partner’s gas tank or noticing when their favorite snack is running low and replenishing it for them. When you do thoughtful things like this, you are showing your partner that you are paying attention and want to make their life better, and this is one of the most beautiful ways to be romantic there is!
Take on a Relationship Challenge Together
This is a great way to become more romantic together! Taking on any kind of a fun, purposeful challenge together is a fun way to strengthen a relationship, but this 30 Day Relationship Challenge in particular is perfect for increasing the romance in your relationship as each prompt is a great relationship and intimacy-building exercise.
Make a Why I Love You Jar
It doesn’t have to be a jar and can be any kind of container you want, but the idea remains the same: Write out all of the things you love about them and all of the reasons why you love them on individual pieces of folded paper and put it in a jar or container. When you present it to them, let them know that you want them to pull out a reason why you love them anytime they want to be reminded of how much you love them. This is one of those sweet romantic gestures that can pay off big over time!
Make Anniversaries Special
An easy way to be more romantic is to put effort into celebrating special anniversaries, like how long you’ve been dating or your wedding anniversary, but you can also take note of other “firsts” and celebrate those too. Maybe there’s a coffee shop where you first asked your partner out, you can plan a date at the coffee shop to celebrate that special moment and let your person know how grateful you are they said yes! Whether it’s major anniversaries with a specific date or just significant moments and places in your relationship, showing your partner you hold these memories dear will show them how meaningful the relationship – and they – are to you.
Create Relationship Rituals
When you create a relationship ritual, you are committing to a shared experience together, whether it’s something as simple as having a morning ritual like coffee together or as involved as creating a holiday ritual that you two will share for years and years to come. You can check out some great relationship ritual ideas here!
Be Generous with Your Compliments
Some people start off a relationship strong in this department and then gradually peter out a bit, but it’s a really lovely way to keep the romance alive! When you are generous with your compliments, you are making sure your partner feels special and seen by you, and isn’t this what we all want? As a bonus, the more compliments you give, the more compliments you typically receive, too!
Learning to be more romantic is just like strengthening any muscle in the body; it takes repetitive action and eventually, you’ve become stronger and better equipped to keep using this muscle. The more romantic gestures you make in your relationship, the better you’ll get at being romantic and you’ll find that you don’t need to think too much about how to be romantic anymore because it is now a habit.
There are many ways to bring the romance back in a relationship or to just become more romantic in general, but at the very core of it all is always having the intention of showing your partner how special they are to you and how much they mean to you. If you keep this intention in your heart and follow it up with the actions listed above, you’ll master the art of how to be more romantic in no time!
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Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.