This post may contain affiliate links. Read our disclosure page for full details.
The love languages are one of the most popular concepts in relationship psychology today. It’s likely you’ve already heard of the love languages, but do you know which love language is yours? And do you know how helpful they can be in creating better communication and healthy, happy relationships?
Learning your partner’s love language is one of our top pieces of relationship advice for couples. In this post, we’re going to provide a brief five love languages summary.
What are the Five Love Languages? – A Quick Summary
The 5 Love Languages were created by author Gary Chapman, and published in a 1992 book The 5 Love Languages. Since its appearance, this book has been read by millions across the world.
The basic concept of the book is that each person has certain ways they best receive and give love: a primary and a secondary love language. The love languages include:
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Some of these may be more immediately clear: it’s fairly simple to understand how one can give and receive love through Physical Touch. Others, such as Acts of Service, require a bit more digging.
Chapman outlines the concept of love languages in a way that makes total and perfect sense. Love languages have become a well-known idea because they are incredibly useful in romantic relationships. Ultimately, once you know your love languages—and your partners’—the two of you can respond better to one another on a daily basis, ensuring that one another’s “love tank” is always full. your communication and connection will be far better when you have an understanding of what your partner truly needs in order to feel loved and treasured.
This post is not meant to be an exhaustive definition of the five love languages, but instead offers a quick overview. To dive into the love languages in full, we recommend reading the book as well as checking out the official website.
Which Love Language is yours?
The first step to understanding the Five Love Languages is discovering which ones you best respond to. The most accurate way to do this is by taking the official quiz. However, even reading through the descriptions may give you an idea of which love languages you’re drawn to. I didn’t need a test to tell me that, far and away, my primary Love Language is Words of Affirmation.
Psst! After taking the love language quiz, why not check out these other fun relationship quizzes!
A Quick Guide to The 5 Love Languages – Five Love Languages Summary
Spending quality time is what the person who speaks the Quality Time love language is all about. Quality time means time spent one-on-one with the person, engaged and attentive to them and their needs. People who speak quality time simply want to be near you. This is what fills their love tank.
Such people often enjoy date nights with their partner but also may be just as happy chilling out together on the couch. What is most important is that they have their significant other’s full attention.
The Receiving Gifts love language is the language of those who feel best loved when a partner offers them a thoughtful gift. This is not a materialistic love language. What matters to these individuals is the intention and care put into a particular gift. The thought that goes into selecting something they will enjoy is what makes these language speakers feel special and cherished. Meaningful presents, especially items made by hand, are particularly treasured, and gifts need not be reserved for a special occasion.
Words of Affirmation
Do you feel adored when you hear the words “I love you?” Words of affirmation might be your love language. This is the verbal love language. A person who prefers this language feels most affirmed when they are spoken to with love, support, and affection. The words can be written or spoken, and Words of Affirmation include encouraging words, compliments, kind remarks, and even romantic poems. To feel best-loved, these individuals must hear it spoken to them (or written to them–or even texted!)
Acts of Service
Those that speak the Acts of Service love language feel incredible when you do something for them that helps them out or lightens their load. This might be doing a hated chore on their behalf or taking the initiative to give them some time alone or to relax. Acts of Service make them feel valued and appreciated on a deep level and this translates into a sense of great love.
Those who speak the language of Physical Touch can’t get enough of close contact. This can include sexual intimacy with a partner, but also means holding hands, cuddling on the couch, receiving a back massage, and much more. The physical intimacy in a partnership is a major priority for these individuals, and you can show them you love them with just the touch of a hand or a kiss on the cheek. Such people are likely to be very affectionate to you, as well.
What is your love language? Have you read the book?
Read these next:
- A 30-Day Relationship Challenge for Couples
- Love Letters for Him: Ideas for Sweet, Sexy, Long-Distance & More!
- 5 Tips on How to Communicate Better as a Couple
- The Best Couples Communication Books
- 105 Cute Ways to Say I Love You
- How to Fall Back in Love with Your Partner: Tips from 10+ Years of Marriage
Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.