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Communication is everything in a marriage or relationship. It is how we share our emotions, needs, desires, and fears with our partner, how we handle conflicts, and how we engage with them on a daily basis. Undoubtedly, communication is of supreme importance, and it’s something all couples need to work on through the life of their relationship. Luckily, communication is a skill and it’s something that you can definitely improve on together. One of the best ways to improve your communication is with powerful resources like these: excellent couples communication books with valuable tips, suggestions, and exercises.
We’ve curated a collection of 7 great books on relationships, all of which will inspire better, more meaningful communication.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving
This is by far one of my favorite relationship books out there. (In fact, it's in our list of the best marriage books for couples).
With beautifully written language and brilliant tips rooted in mindfulness, this book is not about finding the perfect partner, but about being the best partner you can be in a relationship.
The relationship advice for couples in David Richo's book is invaluable, and emphasizes our individual responsibility for meeting our own needs and handling our own emotions. To me, these are key principles in strong, healthy communication. I 100% recommend this book to all couples.
The 5 Love Languages Hardcover Special Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts
The Five Love Languages, authored by Gary Chapman, is a book every couple should read at least once. This is one of those books that seems to appear on every list of great relationship books, but there's a reason for that. The principles found in this book may not seem groundbreaking to us now, but they really are. The idea that each person has a specific love language in which they best receive and give love makes total sense, and once you've grasped that essential fact, it might be a major revelation.
When it comes to communication, couples who know how the other best receives love are going to have a leg up when it comes to communicating in a way that will be perceived as loving, and therefore be most effectual. If you haven't checked out this essential book for married couples, take a look at it now.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert
You can't list any books on relationship building without including one or two by John Gottman, a leading marriage expert. This book is among his most well-known and draws on Gottman's years of studying the behavior and habits of married couples. His research on the relationship habits of real-life couples has helped to produce this book and several others, all offering relatable stories of the relationship problems that plague us as human beings. You're likely to find this book an eye-opening look at the root causes and patterns that lead to successful relationships (as well as those that may lead to divorce).
How will this book help couples to improve their communication?
This book presents 7 principles of a successful marriage, all of which can contribute to healthier communication, but in particular, couples will benefit from Principle 6: Turn Towards Each Other Instead of Away. This builds on one of the book's main tenets: that friendship is at the heart of a strong marriage. Overall, this book will help couples learn how to better relate to one another and understand their own habits. There are many practical exercises and tips contained in the book, too, equipping couples to deal with conflict when it arises and to deepen their intimacy.
Communication Miracles for Couples: Easy and Effective Tools to Create More Love and Less Conflict
This book is all about communication. A short book, it is packed with useful guidance on creating a more harmonious relationship.
Even in "just a few minutes" couples will learn how to repair issues in their marriage such as broken trust, or a partner not really listening to you. While many of the techniques are simple and straightforward, readers and reviewers say that they have had a powerful impact on their marriages.
Do you want to learn to communicate with less blame and with a deeper sense of security? Consider reading this book with your spouse.
I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships
Did you know that the #1 skill for good communication is listening? We tend to view communication as a talking-focused concept, but in truth, it's all about listening.
This short relationship book is all about one revolutionary idea: validation.
In I Hear You, the author equips the reader with an essential tool for better listening and communication success and it can have incredible consequences.
Do you and your spouse find yourself fighting a lot? You will learn how to rapidly resolve an argument when it arises, or potentially prevent it from occurring at all.
Do you sometimes experience disagreements arising from miscommunicating expectations or hurt feelings? Again, this one skill may help you to avoid these difficulties by taking a new approach.
As you put the concepts in this book into practice, you will find your frustration melting away and your communications with your partner hitting a whole new level of depth and acceptance.
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third Edition
Harville Hendrix and his wife Helen are some of the leading relationship experts out there, and everything they have written is very valuable information for couples. This book has sold more than 4 million copies, helping couples all over the world find deeper connections with their partner.
There's a lot packed into this book, from understanding what drew you to choose your partner to delving into past childhood experiences and using them as tools for healing. Through practical steps to self-understanding, couples can discover ways to better communicate with one another, and move past some of their common blocks to intimacy and closeness.
The High-Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation
If other couples communication books don't seem to work for you, this one just might. Designed for "highly reactive couples" this book takes a different approach, knowing that the typical communication techniques and suggestions don't work for these types of couples.
The High-Conflict Couple speaks directly to those who find themselves frequently in intense emotional situations in their marriage. Do you and your partner often find yourselves in angry, even destructive arguments? Do small conflicts quickly escalate into full-blown fights? Using dialectical behavior therapy, this book will enable couples to understand why their emotions work the way they do, and provide strategies for coping with these issues on their own and with a partner. With emotional regulation, couples are better equipped to use negotiation skills in solving conflict, rather than allowing their feelings to run away with them.
While reading publications like these can be a wonderful place to start, communication is a multidimensional topic and is something that requires continued work and actions throughout your relationship. Keep learning and keep practicing, You can use these communication exercises for couples to help foster deeper and more productive conversations between you and your partner.
Keep reading more articles and books about relationships designed to deepen your connection and strengthen your partnership. Use these as conversation starters to keep you and your husband or wife talking about these issues. The more comfortable you are together talking about these things, the better you’ll be at spotting and identifying your own negative behaviors and the more you will access insights and growth that have a big impact on your marriage. Plus, you both will experience an appreciation for the other partner’s effort, which can deepen your affection and respect.
When things get really tough in your relationship, don’t be afraid to seek out couples therapy. Therapy is something that can be beneficial to everyone and it makes complete sense that when dealing with something as complicated as marriage, the help and wisdom of a therapist can be unquestionably effective.
- How to Have More Romance in a Relationship
- 8 Tips for Listening in Relationships: How to Be a Better Listener
- 10 Rules for a Happy Marriage
- 7 Habits of Happy Couples
- 6 Things to Do Every Day for a Stronger Marriage
- Top Signs of an Unhappy Marriage (and how to make it better)
- How to Help Your Partner Feel More Secure in Your Relationship
- 7 Best Journals for Couples of All Kinds
Amy Hartle is the co-founder and owner of Two Drifters, where she blogs about romantic and couples travel, relationships, honeymoons, and more. With a Master’s in English and a BA in Musical Theatre, Amy loves to write quality content as well as to entertain, and she hopes to do a bit of both here on the blog! Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband Nathan, and son Malcolm. When not working on their sites or traveling the world, the Hartles can be found cuddling, reading, and hanging out with their cats.