Since the time when romantic relationships began, women have sought after clues and signs from potential husbands. Does he want to marry me? Is he looking for a bride? What are the signs that he wants to marry you?
Of course, it may have been easier in the past, when suitors declared their intentions to you and, well, to your parents, mostly. But in the intervening decades of dating and romantic love, when we’ve started prioritizing love over arrangements and suitable “matches”, it has become trickier.
Now, the emotions and intentions of both men and women have grown a bit murkier, caught up in the complex web of romance. How can you tell if a man wants to marry you?
I’m all about honesty. I think it’s silly for two grown people not to be open and forthright about their feelings and intentions towards one another. If you’re wondering if your man wants to marry you (whether that’s soon or “someday”), the best thing you can do is ask him outright.
I’m not suggesting you ask this on the 2nd date, or even a few months into the relationship, but after a couple of years together, it’s totally okay to ask a straightforward “where are we headed?” Why not get back to being clear about our intentions? To me, that’s far better (and healthier) than any game or intrigue.
But if you’re not quite ready to do that, if you’re still seeking clues about his feelings for you, then let this article help you out. if he’s moving toward a proposal, here are a handful of clear, likely signs he wants to marry you.
He isn’t afraid to talk about the future—with you in it.
A major sign that he probably wants to marry you is that he is okay with talking about the future. It probably will come as no shock that a man who avoids discussions of future plans is not a man who is concerned with making long-term plans. In fact, if he routinely avoids conversations about the future, he may be far from ready for marriage.
But a dude who is planning to pop the question—or at least considering the possibility of it in the future—isn’t shy about talking about his hopes, dreams, and plans with you. This doesn’t necessarily mean that he talks directly about marriage, weddings, and babies (especially in the early part of a relationship), but if he talks about ideas for a future with you, that’s a great sign.
He might chat about trips you’ll take together, plans you’ll make, and other far-future scenarios. As long as he shows you you’re a key character in these plans for the future, this is an excellent sign that he may be in it for the long haul.
He frequently uses “we” more than “me.”
Not only should your man talk about a future with you in it, but he should also be focusing on the present with you, too.
Does he talk more about the “we” of his life than the “me”? Is he self-focused, or relationship-focused?
One of the more telling signs a man wants to marry you is that he thinks of the two of you as a unit. Marriage is about a commitment and becoming one with your partner; a unified front. A man that regularly emphasizes your partnership and your “we”-ness, is likely already viewing the two of you as a united force. This man is probably a lot closer to being ready for marriage, and it’s very likely you’re the one he plans to pursue it with.
You’ve met his family.
Topping any list of signs he wants to marry you someday is this tidbit: he’s introduced you to his family.
While this is not a sure sign of intended matrimony—particularly if a guy is simply close with his family—it’s still a really, really good sign.
In fact, if the two of you have been together for a significant time and you haven’t met his family, this could be problematic.
A man who introduces you to the important people in his life is letting you know that you’re important to him, too, and that he wants to show you off to the people who matter. This can also indicate that he wants their opinion on his potential future mate.
He makes sacrifices for you.
Does your partner frequently put you first? Does he make sacrifices big and small for you, letting you choose the restaurant, accompanying you to events he’s not thrilled about, or putting aside something important to him just for you? These sacrifices tell a great deal about your potential spouse, indicating that not only may he be ready for marriage, but he’s got the makings of a great husband as well.
He is consistent.
Consistency is surprisingly important when looking for signs your boyfriend wants to marry you. Consistency is huge.
According to this article, consistency is more telling than chemistry when it comes to long-term love:
Therapist Cynthia Catchings says, “Consistency is a combination of behaviors that include dependability, trust, and a true desire to have a companion and form a serious relationship…People who are more consistent with their interactions with one another, such as having predictable behaviors and good communication, have longer and more successful relationships.”
You’ve talked about marriage.
Okay, this may be a no-brainer. Have the two of you actually discussed marriage? Was it a positive conversation? Did you feel like you were on the same page, and that your desires are in alignment?
If you’re wondering “will he marry me,” but you’ve never had a conversation about the topic, now might be the time.
It doesn’t mean that he needs to be gung-ho about marriage right away. My husband had a lot of anxiety and hesitation when it came to the lifelong commitment of marriage (and unsurprisingly, a whole lot of us do, men and women both). So our first marriage talks were tentative, but I could see that he wasn’t opposed to marriage and that he considered it a major deal. He took the idea of marriage seriously, and that, to me, was a really important sign.
PS: If you’re with an amazing person who loves you and is committed to you, it can be worth being patient and understanding if they’re not quite ready for marriage.
You’re a major factor in his decision making.
Does your man consult you when making big decisions? Does he trust and value your opinion? Does he look to see how choices he makes will affect you? These are significant indicators that you have a vital place of importance in his life and that he is already thinking of things as they apply to the two of you.
If he never consults you, or regularly makes major life decisions without talking to you, this could be a sign that he’s still living in a bachelor mentality, focusing primarily on his own wants and needs.
He has friends who are married.
Fascinatingly, many relationship experts agree that one of the top signs he will marry you is if he already has married friends!
On an obvious level, this could be because your partner sees other menhe knows getting married and it makes the concept of marriage less scary and unknown. On a scientific level, your guy might be noticing that his married mates are happier and healthier. Research demonstrates that married men are healthier and live longer than their unmarried counterparts.
So if you’ve been attending lots of weddings together, chances are your boyfriend might be inching closer to matrimony—especially if the other signs on this list ring true.
He supports you through difficult situations.
Finally, a man may be looking to marry you if he has demonstrated his ability to be there for you in tough times.
Of course, a kind and loving partner may simply not be interested in marriage, and in that case, a good old-fashioned discussion needs to take place so the two of you know where you stand. But in many cases, a man who has been treating you right and with devotion and commitment is in it for the long haul, and is one who wants to marry you.
Plus, if you and he have weather hard times in your relationship and gotten through stronger, this shows real dedication to the relationship overall. These are all positive signs that you’ve met the right person—and that they are probably keen on a long-term commitment.
Want to read more love & marriage resources? Check out these other posts on our site.