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There’s been a lot of hype about red flags, but how about relationship green flags? If you’re looking to learn more about those signals that a relationship is worth pursuing, here it is!
There are some relationship green flags that you’ll be able to see from learning more about their lives and who they are, and there are some green flags in relationships that show themselves in how they how treat you! Both are great indicators of the potential of the relationship.
Take a look at this list of common relationship green flags to see what to watch for in your relationship!
Table of Contents
They Have Long-Term Friendships
Does the person you’re interested in have long term friendships or are they a lone wolf type of person? All long-term friendships are going to go through moments of misunderstandings and long-standing relationships demonstrate that they have the emotional capacity to work through disagreements in a healthy way. A self-proclaimed “lone wolf” label may not be a total red flag, but it certainly isn’t a green flag in a relationship!
Exes are Referred to with Respect
You can tell a lot about a person with how they speak about their past relationships; if every past partner was “crazy,” or “stupid” or any other negative descriptor, then that indicates that that person might not have a lot of emotional intelligence and might not be the best candidate for a healthy relationship. You want to hear past partners still being referred to with respect, despite whatever issues the relationship had or why it ended, because someday you might be that past partner, too!
They Listen and Value Your Thoughts
This doesn’t mean that they agree with everything you say because that’d be booooooring, but they do listen to and treat your opinions with respect, even if they don’t share them! You don’t want someone that’s just waiting until you stop talking so they can speak, you want someone who’s interested in hearing your thoughts because they are interested in who you are! You’ll be able to tell in how they react; look for signs of active listening.
They Can Take Care of Themselves
Do you want a partner or a dependent, because if it’s the latter, then you can totally disregard this one! Most people are looking for a relationship equal, and if your prospective partner can’t take care of their own basic needs (manage their own finances, keep their space relatively clean, remember their own appointments) then you need to consider if that might be an indicator of how you can expect they will also take care of your relationship. Typically, there’s a level of maturity that comes along with being self sufficient in these ways, so notice how your partner is managing their day to day life to see how much maturity you can expect them to bring to a relationship!
They Can Have Hard Conversations
Oh boy, this is a BIG green flag in relationships! Every relationship is going to have hard conversations, so if you find your partner is able to have respectful discussions even when emotions are high or buttons have been pushed, you can feel comfortable in knowing that you two will have a good chance of being able to work through the tough stuff together, because strong communication skills are extremely important in relationships!
They Do What They Say & Say What They Do
This relationship green flag is so important because trust is extremely important in relationships! If you cannot count on your partner to do what they say they will do or to tell you what is happening, then what’s the point of having a relationship?
They Have Their Own Hobbies and Let You Have Yours
While it is very cool to share a lot of interests with your romantic partner, it is a definite green flag if your partner is comfortable with you both having your own separate interests, as well! Not only is it healthy for couples to have a little space from each other every now and again, but if your partner wasn’t supportive of you enjoying the things you enjoy, that would be the opposite of a green flag in a relationship.
You Feel Safe With Them
This isn’t just a physical safety, but an emotional safety, too. You certainly should always feel physically safe around your partner, but if you feel emotionally safe enough to share your inner world with them, this is a major green relationship flag! This is a part of healthy boundaries, too, because it is a definite green flag in a relationship if you feel safe enough to share a boundary and expect them to respect it.
There is No Confusion in How They Feel About You
If you don’t have to wonder how your partner feels about you, you can consider this a great green relationship flag! If someone cares for you, they should demonstrate that and there shouldn’t be any need at all for you to decode and translate their words or actions. Pay attention to how they express themselves with you; a person who cares for you won’t make you guess!
They Acknowledge Their Own Growth
This relationship green flag can look different in different scenarios, but if your partner is able to reflect back on how much they’ve learned and grown in their life, you can consider this a great green relationship flag! It’s a sign of emotional maturity and willingness to admit that they are not perfect that shows when someone acknowledges prior growth. Bonus points if your partner talks about the things they hope to continue to work on and improve, too! A growth mindset and attitude is super swoon-worthy, isn’t it?
There are so many great relationship green flags that you can be on the lookout for, but the ultimate green relationship flag is how you and your partner make each other feel! Being “driven nuts” by another person might be an indicator of some kind of passion, but is it healthy? Probably not! Why not look for a partner that you feel passionate about and safe and happy and comfortable and listened to?
Dating can be stressful enough without having to dodge red flags, so be on the lookout for these relationship green flags instead!
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Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.