How to Flirt With Your Husband: 6 Ways to Kindle the Spark in Marriage

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Have you forgotten how to flirt with your husband?

Or more likely, you know how but you’ve let it fall to the wayside.

You might think, I’ve already got my husband, what would I need to flirty with him? Maybe your lives have become some habitual that the idea of flirting at all just doesn’t enter your mind. This is so incredibly normal.

Even in a healthy relationship, you may be happy and content and feeling close to your husband, but you do miss that “spark” you used to have. In so many ways, flirting in marriage can be a kickstarter for intimacy and closeness. Flirting with your husband could be the simple key to recapturing some of that magic and to improving or enhancing your relationship immediately.

There’s a lot of talk about “keeping the spark alive” in a marriage or long-term relationship. That’s because the initial feelings of intensity and passion that usually characterize the start of a relationship don’t stick around forever. Sure, you’ll always meet those couples who seem to have unending passion, but the secret is, they are probably putting a lot of work into maintaining that passion! In other words, it isn’t easy to keep the flame of love burning, especially not if we’re trying to keep it burning as brightly as when we first met.

But the good news is, the flame of a marriage actually burns deeper and hotter. It may not be as easy to keep it cracklin’ (okay, have I used enough fire puns yet?) but it is so much more rewarding and amazing when you do. So flirting in your marriage is an essential if you want to make this happen.

If YOU are wanting to feel closer to your husband, turn up the heat, reignite the passion, then I’m going to give you a few simple ways to flirt with your husband. Maybe these are things you already do, or used to do. Maybe they are brand new ideas to you. Either way, I promise that when you make the effort to flirt with your spouse, good things will come.

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Table of Contents

Send your husband a flirty text

Probably my favorite way to get flirty with your husband is by sending a flirty little text message.

This is something you can do even on the busiest days, and it can have a huge impact.

Send your husband something that will intrigue him. A sassy compliment or innuendo is always well received. If you’re wanting to create anticipation for the evening together, you could drop hints of what you plan to do. Be as racy in your text messages as is comfortable for you. I’ve yet to hear of a husband who did not appreciate a suggestive or flirty text from his wife!

PS: Texts to your husband don’t have to be just flirty, either. They can be sweet and meaningful, and that says a lot about your love for him.

Talk him up in front of others

Complimenting your spouse in front of friends, family, or colleagues can be a real mood-booster. Especially when you’re in a group setting, don’t hesitate to say something awesome about your husband. This is when it’s okay to brag a little.

This kind of open praise or adoration reminds your husband that not only do you think he’s a great guy, but you also want other people to know it, too. You’re proud of him and proud to be his wife.

Being appreciated in public makes a person feel confident and desired. In other words, this is an excellent way to flirt.

Wear something special (or nothing at all)

Getting dressed up for your spouse is a simple and fun way to flirt with them! Whether you’re getting dolled up for a date night together or just decide to throw on a slinky little number to wear around the house, your husband is going to appreciate this.

Our spouses appreciate when we put the effort into our appearance, of course, because it is a reminder that you’re still wanting to impress your partner. This feels exciting and brings back those early day relationship feelings. And honestly, seeing your partner look their best reminds you of your attraction to them all over again.

So don’t be afraid to put on something special as a way of flirting with your man, and letting him know you love his attention.

PS: You might also experiment with a lack of clothing, as this is certain to get results!

Have an adventure together

My husband and I are big believers in having adventures together as a couple. You might be surprised that this is actually a great way to get your flirt on, too.

Doing something new and exciting together puts you in a different mindset and, depending on what it is, it may also throw you into new circumstances or surroundings (such as going on a trip together). This is great because it ignites all your senses and gives you a new awareness together. Seeing your partner in this fresh way and bonding over a shared experience tends to naturally ramp up your sense of fun and flirtiness.

Be generous with your compliments

A genuine word of praise never fails to be well-received, but it’s easy to forget to offer these words sometimes, especially in the daily life of a marriage. To flirt more with your husband, try intentionally offering more words of affirmation and appreciation.

Be generous with your touch

As with compliments, be generous with your physical touch, too. If you’re not in the habit of regularly cuddling, holding hands, or setting aside time to be together physically, make an effort to add in little touches here and there throughout the day.

Some ideas:

Forget a peck on the lips on the way to work. Take 15 seconds in the morning to share a passionate kiss
Touch/squeeze your husband’s shoulder as you pass him at home
Give him a soothing back massage when you’re watching a movie on the couch
Hold hands while you’re in the car/put your hand on his leg as he’s driving

Be generous with your touch and unexpected, too! The spontaneity of a sudden kiss on the lips or a smack on the butt can be a delightful surprise for your spouse.

Which of these ideas for flirting with your hubby do you like the most? What would you add?

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Amy Hartle

Amy Hartle is the author of Do You Love Me? How To Stop Seeking Reassurance in Relationships, a book on reassurance seeking and relationship anxiety. Both her book and this blog are born of personal experience; Amy shares expert relationship advice from the lessons learned during her own 10+ years with her husband, as well as couples travel tips and romantic getaway recommendations, all gleaned while traveling the world together.