Nathan and I have been engaged for a little more than a month. Wow, has that gone by fast.
We never wanted a long engagement, and since we’ve been discussing marriage for awhile now, it made sense to start planning right away. Thus, we have begun that massive ordeal known as “wedding planning.”
In less than a month we’ve set our date, booked our venue, chosen our photographer, and reserved our caterer. Whew! That is quite a lot! I feel like we’re in a great place now to continue planning carefully and without stress. Overall, the past few weeks have really gone off without a hitch.
And yet, in some ways, planning a wedding is not quite what I expected.
I Imagined Zero Worries, Really I Did
After hearing about Bridezillas for years, and knowing that many women get overwhelmed while planning their wedding day, I told myself there was no way I would ever let that happen to me. Wedding planning will be a totally relaxed, joyous experience, I believed.
I was right. In some ways.
Maybe because I knew our engagement was coming I had been thinking about wedding planning for months already. And, like so many other women I know, had a pretty extensive secret Pinterest board going….
So, I’d already decided on a lot of things, and that made some of the major decisions easier.
But, I was also wrong. In some ways.
A wedding is a huge, monumental event. It is one of the most important occasions of your life. It is a celebration involving so many family and friends and coordinators. How could I think this wouldn’t be just a teensy-bit overwhelming?
Well, it is. It’s not like what is described by some stressed-out fiancees…I couldn’t imagine planning a wedding for 300+ guests for instance. Rather, I’ve had experiences I didn’t think I would have.
Worrying About Making Everyone Happy
I’m guilty of this already. As a self-confessed sensitive soul, I like to make sure all my family and friends are happy. I want my bridesmaids to feel comfortable in their dresses. I want my mom to love my color scheme. I want Nathan to have everything he wants in this wedding too. I want everyone to be delighted, and supportive, and full of wedding bliss.
Okay, first of all. Pleasing everyone 100% is impossible. Never gonna happen. So I simply need to nip that in the bud right this very minute. And, at the end of the day, we have to choose what is right for us.
Second of all, I am so lucky to have an incredibly supportive and helpful family (my own and Nathan’s), beautifully kind friends and bridesmaids, and Nathan who is the sweetest and most easy-going fiance there could be. Absolutely none of them have made me feel like they are unhappy about anything to do with my wedding. In fact, they are all over the moon and have been nothing but loving and terrific.
So, why am I worrying?
I think this is a common wedding planning occurrence for a bride-to-be. I think it’s overwhelming making such big decisions about one of the most important days of your life. It’s almost like you need extra affirmation from others that you’re making all the right choices. I’m certainly not a perfectionist, but when you’re planning for your WEDDING DAY, even the most insignificant of details seems to take on new and distinct meaning.
So I have shed a few tears, for no other reason than that this planning is emotional. I want everyone to be happy, and I want everything to be….lovely. And ultimately, I know it will be. But until then I’m just gonna feel ALL the feelings!
So, if you get engaged soon and you find yourself in tears, your fiance might ask you what’s wrong, and you can honestly whimper “I don’t KNOOOOW!!”
Wedding planning = emotions up the wazoo.
Do You KNOW All That Goes Into Wedding Planning?
The other thing I didn’t expect about wedding planning was just how much there is to DO! I intended to breeze through it all, smiling triumphantly at how effortlessly “cool” I made the whole thing look.
Good grief, there are so many things I never even thought of when it comes to wedding planning. Of course, you can check out any bridal magazine and they’ll outfit you with a complete “wedding planning checklist.” Feel free to freak out when the checklist starts at “18 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING” and you only have 6. Seriously. These events can, apparently, take as long as two gestational periods to come to fruition.
I wasn’t having any of that.
But even with a 6 month time frame, boy oh boy, is there a helluva lot to think about. What time will you have your ceremony? Where will you get ready? Should you serve a vegetable platter alongside your Southern BBQ? When do you order your bridesmaids dresses? How in god’s name do you book a block of hotel rooms? When do you send out save the dates?
Sigh……Well, friends. It’s only just beginning. And though I’ve made it seem quite intense, it is actually proceeding without much ado. We’ve had no problems deciding together on major points and I believe it’s all going to work out beautifully and be a wonderful wedding.
And really, I was right on one count. I will never be the type to freak out about this all because I know that it’s about so much more than the wedding day. It’s about our marriage. It’s about celebrating our commitment to a full and meaningful life together. And it’s about being surrounded by those we love as we take that step.
When I remember that’s what it’s all about…nothing seems overwhelming at all.